Ever heard the words, “Don’t cry”, “It’s fine, don’t worry about it”, or “Stop being naughty!”?

If we’re honest with ourselves, we’ve heard or said those words at some point in our lives. Normally, adults say those words to young children.

Obviously, we don’t want our child to cry. That means they are hurt, upset, or trying to let out sad emotions. We also don’t want children to worry, of course. And about being “naughty”, well! That enters a whole new realm of conversation we can leave till another time.

But what I am trying to say is, these words tend to make us suppress something; they make us hold back – or tell us we should hold back – from feeling a certain way. While on the surface it seems like a good thing, it is so bad for us.

Why? Because it hinders our emotional state. We end up holding on to all this emotion rather than successfully dealing with it.

Today, I’m going to share some fantastic insights with you from doctors who know their stuff. AND I am going to let you in on 5 key steps that will help you harness emotional awareness.

Let’s dive in!

The "Suppressing Emotions" Generation

We get triggered by our children’s behaviour and emotions mostly because we haven’t learnt to deal with our own. Young children are usually good at allowing their emotions to come out (unless they have had severe early-life trauma).

However, adults and parents often view these expressions as the child being "naughty" or having a tantrum. Until we can make space to feel our own emotions, we will be teaching our children to suppress and disconnect from their emotions, which will actually cause more outbursts and tantrums.

Think of it this way. Imagine you have a big cooking pot. You fill it with water and vegetables and maybe potatoes and meat. But if you continue to add more and more, what will happen? The pot will start overflowing. However, if you add the vegetables, cook them and remove them, you will have room to cook something else, and so on.

Humans are the same with their emotions. If we just keep squashing them down and not feeling/allowing them to flow, then eventually our "pot" will overflow. We will start to experience physical or mental health symptoms. This is the body’s way of communicating with us. It’s telling us something needs our attention.

Unfortunately, the majority of us have not been taught how to listen or communicate with our bodies. So, we just keep shoving those feelings/emotions down. As Dr Zoe said, we have learnt a hundred ways to numb them or ignore them.

We learn to suppress or deny how we feel from a young age. And the more dysregulated our parents are, the more we as children learn to dysregulate our own emotions.

Let’s change the story and teach our children a new way to feel and heal.

How to Communicate Your Emotions

A great way to release negative emotions is to write it down. Writing down our true feelings (without judgement) can aid in emotional regulation. Some people prefer drawing or creating. But basically, getting your emotions out of you and onto something else helps us release all of that energy.

While facing avoided emotions may initially increase distress, the discomfort is very short-lived. What makes it worth it is it leads to emotional stability, improved mental and physical health, and deeper self-understanding in the long term.

Now that’s a win.

Dr Zoe Lumiere says "You might be aware that your mind wants to make up things that Are NOT Feelings. Those thoughts are holding you back from Letting Go and Resolving the situation.

For example: I felt like David was wrong. I felt like I shouldn’t have done that. I felt everyone was against me.

Have the compassionate awareness to see that you use those thoughts to distract and deflect from what you’re feeling. Have the courage to feel, what you feel, and watch the situations in your life change for the better."

KEY TIP: When our children are experiencing their BIG emotions, our automatic programming may lead us to say things like "don't cry", "don’t get angry", and "stop being naughty". However, this just teaches them to avoid and fear their emotions. Instead try to take a few deep breaths, stay calm and try to discover what emotion your child is feeling and then use some of the tools/techniques in www.thetappingsolution.com (or their app) to learn together how to express the emotion and let it go.

The Art of Letting Go

Mastering the art of letting go is an important (but let’s admit, a difficult) aspect of emotional regulation. However, the effort you put in is really worth it.

Often, people find themselves trapped by negative emotions. Instead of releasing these feelings, they tend to cling to them, becoming preoccupied with their emotional turmoil, and questioning why it’s happening to them.

This is how I was taught as a child and now I understand it’s because my mom didn’t have any other way of coping other than to repress her feelings. We have to recognize the pattern before we can change it.

It may seem counterintuitive, but accepting the presence of unwanted emotions can actually help in letting them go. By acknowledging our suffering and facing our difficult feelings, we may discover that what initially seemed overwhelming is actually more manageable than anticipated.

5 Steps That Help Us Release Negative Emotions

To enhance your ability to release negative emotions, consider these steps:

1. Acknowledge How You Feel

This is a really powerful first step. Most people’s brains are programmed by stress or trauma to automatically suppress the emotion or feeling. So just taking a moment to acknowledge how we feel is important. Even if we can’t name the feeling, acknowledging the sensations of the emotion (i.e. stomach ache, chest hurting, blood pumping etc).

2. View Emotions as Waves

Imagine your emotion as a wave that rises and falls. Focus on aspects like physical sensations or imagery related to the emotion. For instance, visualise an ocean wave flowing through you—large enough to feel but not so overpowering that it overwhelms you. Avoid pushing the emotion away, rejecting it, or judging it as good or bad. Emotions like anger, fear, and sadness are painful but not inherently negative. They are simply part of the human experience and are as valid as positive emotions.

3. Avoid Dwelling

Refrain from fixating on or escalating the emotion. Instead of intensifying it, allow it to be as it is. This approach can help reduce the emotional pain over time.

4. Separate Yourself from the Emotion

Remember, while emotions are a part of you, they do not define you entirely. You are more than your feelings.

Experiencing an emotion doesn’t mean you must act on it. Sometimes, simply sitting with the emotion can be more effective. Acting impulsively might prolong and intensify the feeling.

5. Practice Acceptance

This can be challenging, especially with painful emotions. Just as we learn to accept and love unchangeable aspects of ourselves—such as physical traits or environmental factors—we can also learn to embrace our emotions. Acceptance isn’t about liking everything about yourself but about acknowledging what is there and finding peace with it.

Remember, acceptance and approval are distinct. You don’t have to like every aspect of yourself or your experiences but accepting them can lead to greater emotional well-being.

I was taught to fear my emotions, which unfortunately led to serious mental and physical health issues. When I started on my healing journey, I actually learnt that emotions are just energy in motion. This helped me to understand that what I was feeling was just energy in my body that needed to find a way to be released. This took away a lot of the fear for me.

Now I am learning a new way of dealing with my emotions. Instead of attaching meaning to them from my previously recycled thoughts, I have new insight into how to look at these "feelings".

And you can do the same.

For information on how, visit the awesome team at www.thetappingsolution.com.